Autism in Girls: Recognizing the Signs and Supporting Your Daughter

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a developmental condition that affects how a person communicates, interacts socially, and processes sensory information. It’s important to remember that autism is a spectrum, meaning every individual’s experience is unique. There isn’t a “one size fits all” diagnosis—what one child with autism experiences may look very different from another.

For girls, autism often presents differently than in boys, leading to delayed diagnoses or even misdiagnoses. Girls are typically better at “masking” or hiding their difficulties by mimicking social behaviors. Because of this, autism in girls can be missed or mistaken for other issues like shyness, anxiety, or mood disorders.

Common Signs of Autism in Girls

Difficulty with social interactions: Girls with autism might have trouble making or keeping friends, preferring routine activities or alone time. They may be very quiet or withdrawn in group settings.
Repetitive behaviors or intense interests: Some girls may have strong, specific interests that they pursue in detail, or they may engage in repetitive behaviors like lining up toys, rocking, or hand-flapping.
Sensory sensitivities: Many girls with autism experience sensory overload and may be sensitive to sounds, textures, or bright lights. This can lead to meltdowns or anxiety in busy, overwhelming environments.
Difficulty understanding social cues: Girls with autism may struggle to pick up on non-verbal cues like body language, tone of voice, or facial expressions, which can make socializing more difficult.
Rigidity and routine: Girls on the spectrum may feel very uncomfortable with changes in their routines or daily activities and may have trouble adjusting to new or unexpected situations.
Masking behaviors: Girls often try to blend in by copying the behaviors of their peers, which can make their autism harder to detect. While they might seem to be doing fine socially, they often feel anxious or overwhelmed internally.

Why Autism is Often Missed in Girls

Subtle symptoms: Girls often display more subtle symptoms, like being quiet or reserved, which are less likely to be disruptive and therefore less likely to raise concerns at school.
Masking: Girls are often better at “masking” their struggles by imitating social behaviors, which can hide the true extent of their difficulties.
Misdiagnosis: Girls with autism are often misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or ADHD before an autism diagnosis is considered, further delaying appropriate support.

Steps to Support a Daughter You Suspect May Have Autism

1. Observe and Document Concerns

Track behaviors: Pay attention to behaviors such as difficulties in social interactions, rigid routines, sensory sensitivities, and any intense or repetitive activities. Write down specific examples and situations that concern you, such as struggles in making friends or becoming upset with changes in routine.

2. Consult a Healthcare Professional

Seek an evaluation: Reach out to a pediatrician or developmental psychologist who specializes in autism for an evaluation. Share your observations and concerns to help them understand your daughter’s behavior.
Ask for a formal assessment: Request a comprehensive evaluation, which may include developmental tests, interviews, and observations to assess autism symptoms. Early diagnosis can help your daughter get the support she needs.

3. Learn About Autism in Girls

Understand the differences: Autism manifests differently in girls than boys. Girls are more likely to display internalizing behaviors (like anxiety or perfectionism) rather than outward behaviors, which can lead to being overlooked. Educate yourself on how autism can look in girls specifically.
Explore reliable resources: Websites like the Autism Society and The National Autistic Society offer valuable information and resources for understanding autism in girls
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4. Advocate for Support at School

Request school accommodations: If autism affects your daughter’s learning or social experience at school, request an evaluation for an Individualized Education Program (IEP) or a 504 Plan. These programs can provide special accommodations, such as extra time on tests, breaks during the day, or social skills training.
Communicate with teachers: Work closely with your daughter’s teachers to ensure they understand her needs. Providing them with relevant insights from professionals can help them support her learning and social experiences in the classroom.

5. Provide Emotional Support at Home

Be patient and listen: Girls with autism may struggle with feelings of being misunderstood or overwhelmed. Create a safe and supportive environment where your daughter can express her emotions and concerns freely.
Reassure and validate her: Let her know it’s okay to feel different and that her experiences are valid. Encouraging self-awareness and self-acceptance can boost her confidence and help her navigate challenges.

6. Seek Outside Support

Behavioral therapy: Therapies such as Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) or cognitive-behavioral therapy can help your daughter develop social skills, manage emotions, and address sensory sensitivities.
Join social skills groups: Many communities offer social skills groups specifically for children with autism. These groups provide a structured and safe environment where girls can practice interacting with peers and build confidence.
Explore sensory-friendly activities: Look for activities that align with your daughter’s interests while considering her sensory needs. Activities like art, swimming, or nature outings can be less overwhelming than busy, loud environments.
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8. Plan for the Future

Teach life skills: Start gradually teaching important life skills, such as managing routines, social interactions, and communication, to foster independence as your daughter grows older.
Long-term planning: Consider what long-term support your daughter might need, both academically and socially. Explore options for higher education, career paths, and therapies that align with her strengths and interests.

Remember: Autism is a Spectrum

Every child with autism is different. Some may need more support in certain areas, while others may thrive with minimal intervention. Understanding that autism is a spectrum can help you approach your daughter’s needs with flexibility and empathy. No two girls with autism are the same, and it’s essential to celebrate your daughter’s unique strengths while addressing her challenges.

Summary of Steps for Parents:

Observe behaviors: Track social difficulties, sensory issues, and repetitive behaviors.
Seek a professional evaluation: Reach out to a healthcare provider for an autism assessment.
Educate yourself about autism in girls: Learn how it differs from autism in boys.
Advocate at school: Request an IEP or 504 plan to ensure proper support.
Provide emotional support: Create a safe space for her to express her feelings.
Explore outside therapies: Consider social skills groups and sensory-friendly activities.
Plan for her future: Teach life skills and explore long-term support options.

By following these steps, you can help your daughter thrive and ensure she receives the care and understanding she needs to succeed both academically and socially.

*Addendum the following section is from Dr. Janice Puder PhD NCSP (2025):

Increased Levels of:

-Social interactions & Communication (Influenced by Camouflaging their experiences, especially with adults)

-Social Motivation (Increased interest in peers especially in adolescence)

-Social Skills (pretend play, communication, social imitation, & ability to focus)

-Social Reciprocity (Compensatory camouflaging)

-Social Mimicry or mirroring behaviors (Copying behavior of peers or repeating phrases from TV, books, etc.)

-Systemization of social situations (Coming up with rule systems, particularly for friendships or relationships example: tiers of friendship)

-Peer Engagement (In early childhood tend to stay near peers weaving in and out of activities but not fully engaging with them)

-Desire to be liked by peers (Can become a preoccupation)

-Recognizing one’s & other’s basic emotions (Difficulty still apparent with complex emotions)

-Displaying clingy or bossy behaviors, particularly in early childhood (Example: Desire to set the rules or make the games on the playground)

-Greater use of pragmatic language markers (Can affect testing cut-off scores)

-Developmentally appropriate vocabulary (affects higher core language skills)

-Associative and cooperative play skills (Attained at younger ages)

-Gender & sexual fluidity (Less influenced by social norms - more fluidity in finding their identity)

-Extreme levels of loneliness (Particularly in adolescence where social skills do not match social interests)

-Eating Disorders/ Unhealthy relationship with food (can become a restricted interest)

-Suicidality/Anxiety/Depression

Decreased levels of:

-Behavioral Difficulties (Particularly within the classroom)

-Externalized behaviors (Meltdowns, tantrums, interruptions, etc.)

-Hyperactivity, impulsivity & conduct problems

-Repetitive Behaviors or interests (Significant especially on ADOS)

-Unusual interest in objects (Lining up toys/spinning wheels/etc.)

-Early identification of Symptoms by Caregivers or Clinicians (Adolescent Emergence Theory)

-Positive Relationships with peers/close friends (More difficulty within friendships & relationships noted - despite the increased level of desire for friendships and relationships)

Similar levels of:

-Level of Restrictive Interests (However, female interests are more likely to be missed as they often are more similar to normative interests such as top pop stars/celebrities/etc. but at a higher interest level)

-Theory of mind scores (NEPSY + Clinical Interviewing)

-Monologuing (rather than back & forth conversations)

-Scripting (Repeating rehearsed statements)

-Lack of a “filter” in social situations

-Need for withdrawal/alone time to “reset”

-Sensory difficulties (may be more subtle such as loud places etc.)

-Desire for routine/ Difficulty with changes in routine